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I know that the internet is currently awash with theories and opinions about the Lost finale. It seems that the majority have decided that not enough questions were answered and it descended into sentimentality. Opinions have ranged from absolutely in love with it to absolute rage that their favourite mystery had not been solved.

I for one, loved it.

In a rare moment of being a morning person, I rose at 4.30am to see it with the rest of the world. I’m glad I did. It gave me a chance to digest and rationalise before I articulated my opinion. I’m now going to, like several thousand other bloggers across the world, give you my take and just why it was such a fitting end to a wonderful show.

I was telling myself during the final series that the destination didn’t matter, because the journey had been so good. The destination did not hold the answers to everything, but I did enjoy it.

I like that it ended up about the characters. Whatever explanation was given for the island and it’s powers, most people wouldn’t be happy. We get to make our own decisions about what happened to those who lived and what it was that made the island so special. We knew it was about light and dark, good and evil, fate vs. free will, logic vs. faith.

As Christian Shepherd (I didn’t notice either) said, what happened on the island happened. They didn’t all die in the crash. Everything on the island was true and it was so life altering for everyone they chose to meet up in the after, where there is no now so they could come whenever they were ready, whenever they died.They were as they were on the island, because they were so important to each other they decided to create a whole universe together so they can meet each other afterwards. When they were ready to move on, they moved on together.

On the island, Jack and Kate killed the smoke monster by getting Desmond to switch off the light, temporarily blocking the island’s powers and making him mortal. Jack then passed the torch to Hurley, before switching the light back on and ultimately dying. Hurley took Ben as his number two. Jack then died in the same place he arrived.

It’s the afterlife part that seems to have got people the angriest and most confused. The way I see it, everybody got the chance to be redeemed in the flash sideways universe. Those who weren’t were not ready as they were still feeling guilty about someone. Here is my take on each character’s journey and what they needed to move on…

Hurley goes from cursed by the numbers to the luckiest man alive. He met with Libby again. It was the love of Libby that allowed him to move on.

Juliet got her baby, and got the chance to be the doctor that she wanted to be, but ultimately it was her love for Sawyer that allowed her to move on.

Sawyer got to be the good guy, and got a chance to see what path his life would have taken if he had not chosen the path of revenge. It was his love for Juliet that allowed him to pass over.

Jin and Sun got a chance to be together without the pressure of Sun’s father’s expectations on Jin. This led him to be the man he became on the island. I think it was seeing their child that let them move on.

Kate couldn’t quite let go of her crimes, but it wasn’t her mother’s boyfriend that she felt guilty about, it was her boyfriend that died in the car accident. She had to atone for that. It was the birth of Aaron that was her moment of redemption both on the island and in the afterlife.

Sayid is a tricky one. My take is that he felt so guilty about the death of Nadia he wouldn’t let himself have her. Instead, he allowed her a happy , stable life with his brother and killed the bad guys to protect that. Shannon loved him on the island for who he was and it was that love in the end that allowed him to move on.

Desmond is a trickier one. He had the approval of Penny’s father, something he never had in the real world, and he got to meet Penny again with this. I think that it was getting the chance to save Charlie, who died to save him that allowed him to move on.

Charlie still got to live his rock and roll lifestyle, but was saved from messing it up by Jack. He got to meet Claire again and it was this that was his key to move on. Similarly for Claire it was Charlie that helped her. She found her family to help her with her baby.

Locke had a chance to hurt his father, which I can’t blame him for really after what he put him through. It was his feet on the ground that allowed him to move on.

I have been wondering why Aaron was there as a baby but Ji Yeon wasn’t. I can only assume that several years passed between the first and last deaths so why didn’t anybody age? The best explanation I have for this is that Sun was pregnant in the afterlife to give Jin a chance to meet her. Aaron, well if everyone else was as they were on the island, why shouldn’t he be.

The characters that were not present in the church played their parts, but were not part of the core group of islanders. Ben couldn’t, so stayed outside. Ana Lucia was presumably still feeling guilty about Shannon, hence her “not being ready”.

Jack had his son to work through his daddy issues with, but ultimately, it was his dad that helped him move on.

The one question I do have that I think needs answered is what becomes of Desmond. I’d like to think that Ben showed him the way out and he, Penny and baby Charlie were reunited. Anyone who tells me otherwise is in trouble.

Eloise Hawking is another that seems to be confusing people. Here’s my theory. She enjoyed the life where she never had to kill her son. Never had to encourage him on to the island where she would ultimately kill him in order to fulfil his fate. I think that this is why she didn’t want questions answered, or wanted to move on.

So there’s my theories on the end of probably my favourite TV show ever. I’m no expert and I’m sure there are probably several other opinions, and questions that I didn’t answer here, if you want to know what I think about anything, feel free to ask below!

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I’m all for a bit of trash television.  I like reality shows, I enjoy my X-factor and even indulge in the odd bit of Hollyoaks.  But sometimes, something comes along so truly terrible that it makes me question ever turning on my television again.

The Door was one of these programmes.

This was indeed quite possibly the worst hour and a bit of television I have ever set my eyes upon. Not only did I want to switch off my television, I wanted to smash, burn and bury it, only to dig up the parts to add to my trusty flux capacitator and invent a time machine to take me back to a simpler time where trash like this could never possibly infringe on my life.  You talk about time you will never get back. This is time I wanted to have a funeral service for, and record a charity single to raise funds in its memory.

It was on for two hours over Friday and Saturday night. I managed Fridays episode, and some of Saturdays but I truly lost the will to live after the first five minutes.

So what was it about.  Well, it was equal parts Saw Game, I’m a Celebrity, Crystal Maze and Middle Management Training exercise. Fronted by Amanda “Windtunnel” Holden and Chris “Desperate” Tarrant, it saw six celebrities competing against each other by facing their worst fears, the winner earning £25,000 for their favourite charity. This I suppose was the only polish to this stupendously steaming turd, but it was buried so deep you forgot about it.

Set in a “Mysterious” “Russian” storage facility, Dean Gaffney, Michael Underwood, Keith Duffy, Louisa Lytton, Frankie Sandford and Jennie McAlpine were to pit their “wits” and nerve against each other through a series of challenges involving rotting carcasses, caged animals, creepy crawlies, fake sewers and some thinking to see who would come out the winner.

So why exactly was it so terrible?

The Door puns – The Most Unhinged gameshow in the world! No.

The lack of any actual peril- There was pretend peril in night vision cameras and tight spaces, but no actual danger.  There was one part about them having to crawl past dogs IN CAGES! I have a dog phobia but I could manage walking past one in a cage. The point that this was “The most terrifying celebrity ordeal on television!!!” was hammered home to us several times. It wasn’t.

The GCSE Psychology – Amanda Holden actually uttered “They’re working as a team now, but it won’t last. O RLY AMANDA?! that’s so insightful. People in a competition may be competitive?

Dont’ get me started on Holden.  The talking out of the side of her mouth and mime artistry in lieu of any actual emotion on her face was grating after the first 30 seconds.

The Recaps – Why must we be treated like goldfish? I remember what happened before the break.  It was three minutes ago. But no, we were treated to a recap of the programme so far after every break, as making tea often erases one’s brain.

So there you go. It was awful. I spent the first hour just waiting for it to cross the line into bad/good. It never did.  I may even go as far as to say that this made Fort Boyard look classy, and that had Leslie Grantham, Melinda Messenger and midgets.

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Erm…2

Sorry, I’ve been a bit neglectful of late, inspiration hasn’t really hit me over the last week or so.  This is a combination of being ill and really busy, so no big idea or discussion, just what I have been reading, watching and listening to over the last few days…

Books – Just finished “One Good Turn” by Kate Atkinson.  A tale about a group of seemingly unconnected people brought together by a seemingly random road rage incident.  Oh for just a teeny, tiny sliver of that woman’s talent…

Music- Haven’t really had the Mp3 player out for a bit because I’ve just discovered Absolute Radio.  It’s a great mix of music, intelligent DJ’s and good guests.  Plays the good stuff without the seemingly constant Snow Patrol/Coldplay loop on Xfm.  Nice.

Have also purchased the new Jamie T and Hockey albums, not had a chance to listen yet, but I’m really looking forward to it.

Television – Last week was a jamboree for Hollyoaks fans (I’m back on the bandwagon, sorry).  We had 5 episodes of Hollyoaks Later, which is always a bit hit and miss, but seemed a bit better this time.  By far the most affecting story was that of Sarah, Zoe and Lydia, culminating in the very crunchy and bloody death of Sarah following a bout of parachute tampering, which was surprisingly emotional, even though it marked the end of one of the most annoying characters in Hollyoaks history.  On the end of this was – Hollyoaks – The Good, the Bad and the Gorgeous which was the most wonderful splicing of bizarre movie parodies and clips from Hollyoaks past.  I absolutely loved it.

Movies – Away We Go – Sam Mendes’ latest film, about a couple who are expecting a child who go and visit various friends and relatives to see where they would like to bring up their child.  Funny, lovely, sad and beautiful.  Please go and see it.  I also happened upon Akeelah and the Bee on Film Four during my couch bound illness period.   I was really surprised at the ending, which I thought I had figured out from about half way through.

Anyway, thats it.  Promise something funny or more interesting when the idea hits me.

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A Bit Down Under…

What a sad week.  I have had minimal personal trauma, and work is shit, but that is boring and not for this blog.  I have begun to realise how much I rely on the sunshine in Australia for my personal happiness.  I don’t go there on holiday (although I’m saving up…yay!), nor do I rely on their climate for my happiness.

No, this week the sunshine lives in Summer Bay and Erinsbourough were turned cloudy by the deaths of Belle Taylor and Bridget Parker respectively.  Their deaths by toxic wastedump and Neighbours Killerhorse (TM) respectively cast a cloud over Home and Away and Neighbours this week.   This made for a depressing hour on television every night and has left me under a cloud of melancholy.

I need to see tanned and lithe youngsters having hilarious japes and looking fabulous on the beach.  I need stories so ludicrous that you laugh out loud.  I need Toadie being the life and soul of the party despite having a life so filled with tragedy it’s worthy of a ‘Take A Break’ front page.  I need children with ages that change because it says so in the script.  I want young men shirtless for no apparent reason.  I’d even prefer Karl and Susan comedy sex storylines.

But no, with the lives of two young characters, my sunshine treat was taken from me.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had both done it at once, but they did, and now I’m miserable.

Thanks Australia *sigh*

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I don’t understand the Ghosthunting programme.  Yvette Fielding puts on too much eyeliner, then takes people somewhere spooky, does her best to freak them out, and Celebrity Psychologist (TM) Geoffrey Beattie sits outside in a taxi and tells us all why it’s a load of rubbish; rationalising fear reactions and spooky occurences.

Then the Happy Mondays got involved, and lots of things became clearer.  Apart from the slightly shaky ethics of putting ‘recovering’ drug addicts in to a situation of extreme paranoia, it was extremely entertaining.

Here are some of the things I learned…

1.  The Happy Mondays consist of more than Bez and Shaun.
2.  Bez dances when he is scared.
3.  Shaun has a “susceptible” personality type.  Who on earth would have thought?
4.  Ghosts are mostly angry. The best way to deal with this is clearly to anger them further.
5.  Brandy is the Happy Monday’s tipple of choice.
6.  Swearing is funny…
7.  …Although not as funny as Shaun randomly falling over
8.  Geoffrey Beattie is a famewhore.
9.  Yvette Fielding is not as scary as she thinks she is.  Seriously? What is with all that Schoolmarm stuff?
10. Night Vision cameras make everything look freaky.

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1. The Class system still exists in Great Britain.
2. Ditzy women with big boobs are more popular than intelligent women.
3. The cynicism of the viewer is matched exactly to the cynicism of the contestants.
4. Male manipulators are forgiven, female manipulators are given a character assassination on live tv.
5. When a man in a relationship kisses a single female, it is the female who is in the wrong.
6. They smuggle in an eviction outfit for you when you have outgrown all of your clothes.
7. Ditto hair extensions when all of yours have fallen out.
8. Davina swearing is all wrong
9. An Irrepressible Dark Horse can be repressed.
10. Arguing is much funnier when the people involved in the argument are in fancy dress.
11. There are people in the world who think ‘Negative’ is the worst ever insult
12. People who are trying to be funny are not.

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Trouble in the Village

The-Hollyoaks-EyeI’m sitting here after a long, hard day at work and I decide to tune into one of my favourites, Hollyoaks.

Now, I’m a long term Hollyoaks viewer. I’ve persevered since the days of Jambo, Kurt and EvilRob Hawthorne. I’m not quite sure if I watch out of a sense of loyalty or enjoyment, but I watch it none the less.

Today though, I saw myself watching it.

Hollyoaks has worked hard to gain respect in the soap world. It has garnered praise and awards, and I’m sure I’m not the only long term watcher that felt a sense of vindication when it finally started getting some recogniton as a decent soap. It’s had groundbreaking moments, it’s had it’s tense moments, it’s had it’s hilarious moments and it’s had it’s heartbreaking moments. The cast may be patchy at best, with the focus being on looks rather than talent, but it was a nice balance of comedy and tragedy. The quality has been in a steady decline over the last few months though. The storylines sometimes feel a bit tacked on, and there’s lots of people that don’t have enough to do. The continuity is also extremely questionable, but they ignore it, so I will for now.

I can pinpoint exactly what it was that made me step back today. The comedy became so contrived and silly that it took on a form of ridiculousness.

Gorgeous mindvoid Carmel McQueen pretended to be her 16 year old cousin and went back to school, complete with sparkly pink folder and My Little Pony lunchbox. There then was a series of “Hilarious” misunderstandings around the difference between Orwell/Endemol Big Brothers. Carmel then started crying and ran out. Carmel returned to school because she did an IQ test on the internet that said she was a genius. Through the fog of tears Carmel returns home and checks the website. Turns out it wasn’t an IQ test after all, it was a LQ test, about lonliness.

LOLZ. or not.

I can’t beleive that it was this fuzzy little subplot that to me marked the nadir of this soap. I mean, the latest plotline involved a baby stealing couple. Of course I find this ridiculous, but it didn’t register like this storyline did. I have sat through a humungus amount of trash because Hollyoaks has always been charming. This storyline was not.

Must do better, Channel 4. I’m sure I’m not the only nostalgia-rooted viewer.

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